Soul space

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I started my day by having a cup of tea with a wonderful friend and it was a beautiful way to start the day. Feeling connection and community (tea at the coffee house in a small town) is the essence of the soul space I talked about in my article. It is how we can light the world we are in especially when we are struggling in the world. Where would we be without each other? She and I have both had some trials and tribulations as of late and the thought of suffering together most certainly had God in it.

As we departed from our morning of fellowship, we both said how we thought things were looking pretty good, of course, with humor in the words but in the aftermath of our very powerful departure statements, things did improve. Could this be the heavenly impact of our time together? Believe it or not, it sure felt like it!

Are you releasing heaven into your world? If not, try to come from a place of love, because above all else, this is a good place to be and, yes, it's like heaven right here on earth. 

Grief recovery

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In the short time I have been working at Still WatersCounseling, in Saline, Michigan, I have sincerely been blessed with a wonderful work environment, heartfelt coworkers, and supportive owners who are also well credentialed therapists. All of this being said, the client based that shapes my day to day existence has kept me focused, and continuously challenges me to go deeper both within myself and in their worlds. I am intrigued by each and every person whom my path crosses. As I witness the transformation gifted by each individual’s therapeutic process, I learn something new every single day. It is a very individual experience. While there are many commonalities in mental health struggles, each person brings a unique experience to me. What works for one person may or may not work for another and considering this, it becomes a process of discovery, an adventure of sorts. But, as I talked about in my article, much of the struggle is heightened and prolonged because of the view of self. When we face the world being unkind and harsh to ourselves, (many times this is the underlying belief of being a failure or of feeling not good enough) we are cheating ourselves from our own successes. This distorted belief blinds us, robs opportunity, and it cripples our movement forward; it energizes suffering.

By enabling self-forgiveness, we are able to manifest self-compassion. Without it, our energy will drain and although we may be strong enough to keep pushing, the fight will always be a fight and we will never be self-fulfilled or truly give ourselves credit for all of our accomplishments. We’ve always heard beauty is in the eye of the beholder, I believe, success too is also seen through the eye of the beholder. You can be the most successful person in the world but if you do not love yourself, you will believe you are a failure. You, my friend, are worthy of the miracle of you and all that you, your best self, has to offer. All you have to do is plug in to the movement of self-love; celebrate you, don’t wait for others to do this. You are your best investment, you have your back and that is the most important thing to realize, run with this! For once you fully embrace this message and make it fundamentally part of you, your light will shine brighter than ever and the outside pieces of your life will begin to fall into place and flow more peacefully. Why, because this love and happiness authentically came from the inside out as opposed to the outside in (material wealth only boosts happiness momentarily). Genuine love from the inside out is what feeling good in your own skin is all about, it gifts long-term bliss. Bless yourself with the wonders of you. If you feel you have lost hope, tug on your lifeline for help and seek local counseling, you are worth the effort!

Easter hope, continued...

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I feel like I went through a transformation of sorts and resurrected my life in a new form over the past several years. I went back to school and worked hard to create the life I was meant to have as opposed the life I lived my first 40 years. Don’t get me wrong, during my first 40 years I experienced love by manifesting a family and nurturing my children while I climbed the ladder of a career but this was just the first chapter of my life. I also experienced much hardship and heartache for which, in the aftermath, I am grateful for because it helped me to mature and evolve into a more compassionate person; the self I embrace today. I am passionate about my life; I feel I have arrived and I’m on a path that not only nurtures me but it nurtures the world around me one person at a time in my counseling efforts. I am grateful for my life experiences and while I’m sure I will continue to be challenged I am also sure my faith and my persevering spirit will help me rise above and continue to be shaped by such experiences. 

My wish for you is that you too will find your way through any suffering and you will be able to use this testimony to transform you into the you worthy of living a more glorious chapter of your own life. May you continue to live your truth and evolve. Happy Easter my friend!

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If you haven't noticed I have taken an overdue and needed break from my column the last couple of months and I felt today would be a great day to get back on the writing wagon. Valentine Day is both a curse and a blessing, when it is good, it is really good, but when it is bad, it is horribly lonely. I am blessed to share my world with my husband and kids but I too have suffered the hardship of Valentine Ghosts of the past; it isn't easy.

When I thought about an article tonight, I wondered what would be a good message, advice for all of the broken hearts of the world and considering this, I believe the best advice to give a broken heart is to feel it. Does it sound like tough love to you? I know it comes across harsh but as a practicing clinical mental health counselor, the client I am most worried about is the one that comes into my office without feeling. This kind of client has little memory of the past, is numb in the present and really cannot understand what is wrong with his or her life but most of all this individual is not feeling joy either. We are human beings and we are in a feeling experience here on earth, if not, we are cheating ourselves out of growth opportunities; the silver linings of heartache and the bliss of joyful occasions too.

If you do not love your life, work to first love yourself first, and this YOU includes both good and bad feelings. We all have them. Give yourself permission to bereave whatever YOU, you think you're supposed to be and instead love the you that you are in this very moment! Celebrate this you; I'm sure you are worth the celebration!

Happy Valentine Day my dear friend!

3 Tips For Successful Achievement of New Year Resolutions

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Before we can move forward and make new paths for healthier futures, it is always important to look back; not in the sense of feeling stuck but in realizing where we came from.

2015 was big for me. I finished my Master's Degree and became a Limited License Professional Counselor through the state of Michigan, landed a job as a Clinical Mental Health Counselor, got married and we purchased a small vacation home in the U.P of Michigan where my youngest son will be living while he is finishing his degree at Michigan Technological University. It is the first year in many where I feel like I can say, although I put a lot of hard work into it, it was pretty great.

In writing my article tonight, I thought about my work as a therapist and what I believe is fundamental to the success of changing habits; it is really tough so any tips I think can help!

I believe we have to show up mind, body and spirit and many times when we fail we only show up in one of these areas, which causes a misalignment, and eventually guilt; we are left in a state of confusion. What I mean by mind, body and spirit is we have to be fully committed to what we are trying to change. We need to lean on our faith (fuel hope), use our intellect to recognize triggers and work through them and increase our self-care to be able to rely physically on our body in order to persevere. If we just want to make the change but we're not ready to put forth the work, the comfort of the old routine or craving will quickly override any desire for change.

It helps if we rally support by talking to others about it, and/or working with a partner or friend who is reaching for the same goal.

My 2016 resolutions are:

To become more physically fit/tone through exercise and healthier eating. To become more spiritually connected through mindfulness and to become more intellectually fit by increasing my study habits. I would like to pass the state exam, have a full-time client based and intertwine mindfulness into my everyday routine.

What are your resolutions? Tell me and we'll work toward each of ours together!

Good luck and God speed!

Strengthen your support from home through family therapy, continued...

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As a newly Limited, Licensed Professional Counselor, I am interested in helping families because I feel that a healthy family is the foundation to the success of our homes, communities and so on. Considering this I am curious about the dynamics of family therapy. I feel pretty fortunate with my family; I wonder if I really did pick them at a spiritual level? Although we’ve had our moments in the past, I can call any one of my loved ones and I believe they would help me in any way possible and I would do the same for them. This is something I do not take for granted because I have seen many families who are unable to count on one another in times of need.

If you can’t count on your family, whom can you really count on?

The strength we get from those who can really understand our life circumstances is extremely empowering. Although we may have grown up in the same environment, we can perceive things differently and this perception depends on many factors like where we rank in birth order, our personalities, physical attributes etc. But while we may live with perceived differences, we can better understand the lives of our siblings because of our overlapping journeys. When we care and we’re genuinely curious about individuals in our family, this attention gifts warmth back. Just like in any relationship, there is give and take. But, if healthy relationships were never really modeled and dysfunction has become the norm, it may be time to take action and to reach out to a professional for help. At least open the dialogue and see who might be willing to embrace positive change, it’s worth a shot!

Click here if you are local to Southeastern Michigan to findfamily therapist.

Empowered by our authentic selves, continued...

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Who we perceive ourselves to be and whether we see ourselves as being capable to accomplish our heart’s desires really does make or break our success. If you believe you are not capable, you will block yourself from being capable. If you believe you will fail, you will fail. And, to believe otherwise, to be positive about your abilities and the outcome of such endeavors takes courage; it requires you to be vulnerable because you are taking a risk. But the key to putting yourself out there is learning how to positively support you and in doing this you must redefine the concept of failure. Every time you try something and you don’t end up making the mark, hitting the top spot you envisioned, you still gained something from the experience. Each and every time you try something, if you truly look at what you’ve done, you will find growth.

So, if you are a Debbie-downer about your life and the lives of others, it is time to change this pattern and work hard to be positive. You’ve heard the expression, “Fake it to you make it,” there is really something to this.

We’ve discussed our perception of ourselves, which is foundationally to our self-esteem, it basically encases it and holds it up. But, if we do not believe we are worthy, we will put out an energy that tells others this negative message and suddenly the world will, in turn, treat us as if we are not worthy.

We must find our strengths, things we value about ourselves, and hold onto these attributes in order to manifest more of this good energy. If you are breathing today, your life has value and you are worthy of a purpose; go out and find it!

So, think about all of this and then let me know what you are worthy of? I know it is greatness!