Monday, June 29, 2015

Say it out loud, continued...

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I was co-facilitating a recent group therapy session when another facilitator talked about the difficulty for clients to “say their story out loud” because it seems to bring it to life all over again. But, the reality of it is, bringing something to life that has been suppressed is actually a good thing and this life in the story will only be short-lived. We all need to tell our story in order to fully understand and accept it. It offers growth.

Once you can talk about it, of course, then you must work with a therapist to process the experience; whatever it is that you've tried to disown or ignore. What does this mean? Just as the counselor helped clean the slate to soothe the pain of sharing the burden, he or she will help dig beneath the experience, at its core in order to feel and free its hold. This is hard work because it now involves you processing and questioning the feelings manifested surrounding the experience. It is an emotional process but once the you have bonded with the counselor, a safe place in this relationship is established and this helps to enable you to tap into and own your vulnerability.

If you have a trusted friend or loved one you can also lean on this support to do the work. But, if you feel your world is at a loss currently, it is important to reach out for professional help.

You can move beyond your past or whatever is draining you in the present, with support, to embrace a healthier you in the here and now. I am 100% sure of this!


I may sound like a broken record here as I spew about the benefits of mindful living and a good support system but I so believe in this stuff. What about you?


Saturday, June 27, 2015

Talk therapy, continued...


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I’ve also created many articles about the here and now, present moment living and mindfulness; all of these concepts involve owning our realities. I’ve also written many articles about accountability, acceptance and surrender, which opens the door to the reality of our worlds.

Today’s article offers a rundown of the cause and effect of how someone’s world can come to feel out of control and how counseling can go deep into the root of this chaos and strategically realign with living the truth of one’s reality.

When we suppress as a form of avoidance or blatantly ignore parts of our lives because we can’t face this truth, it only cause things to snowball but at this point our rational thought has already shut down. And, some individuals just cope in a world of chaos, it becomes their normal and they go about living an unfulfilling life; this energizes the chaos.

I’ve said this before it takes a courageous person to walk the path of recovery. To let someone into the nooks and crannies of his or her life; offering their experiences, even the darkest ones, in order to reflect and dissect where false beliefs and thoughts came from and how they’ve been energized. Imagine sharing your mistaken choices with a stranger, pretty scary, huh?

But, engaging a healthier you is worth perhaps a bit of embarrassment and discomfort because once the darkness is aired, a heavy burden is relieved. It sheds light into the darkness. In counseling you are participating in a safe and nonjudgmental space; it’s a place that honors authenticity. It’s a partnering relationship that requires you to show up with a will to address the darkness and motivation to embrace positive change. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, “You are your best investment worthy of any work required to surface your best self.”


Have you ever been in counseling? How was your experience, I’m curious. Leave me a note. 

Make yourself smile, continued...

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Today, while I was in prison co-facilitating a therapy group, I participated in a meditation with the participants. It was an empowerment exercise that was about gathering and feeling our own power. We first grounded ourselves by planting our feet firmly on the floor and sitting up straight. Then we started deep breathing. We pressed our hands together and then pressed our feet firmly onto the floor as a technique to gather our own strength. Then, we released and repeated the process. The person who led the meditation instructed us, as we released the energy, she told us to smile the victor’s smile. This was described as a half smile.

It got me thinking about smiling and all of the benefits this small thing can gift to us.

It amazes me, as the article shares, that it can create endorphins, lower our heart rate, reduce stress and boost our immune system.

I mean, come on, we’re talking about a smile. Pretty cool, huh?


How often do you think you smile in a day? How ever often it is, I don’t think it is enough. I challenge you to be aware of your smiles and face each day with an intent to share more happiness with the world; smile away my friend!

Sunday, June 21, 2015

Welcome summer, continued...


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I am drawn to darkness; I like to channel my energy into lighting the world by soothing hardship one person at a time including myself. It is important I realize that I too need self-love and attentiveness in order to be healthy enough to help others. I struggled with the full acceptance of my dark side for many years into my adulthood but eventually I realized that by me denying, or shaming this being who still breathes within me, I am energizing the wrong kind of energy. If I stumbled on a vulnerable young adult striking out into the world in pain today I would reach to this person to help soothe his or her pain so why wouldn’t I do the same for the younger version of me who made such terrible past decisions? Does this past make the younger me a bad individual today considering I am using my story to help others and I’m working to positively contribute to the world as an adult? I don’t think so. I can’t change the past but I can use what I learned to shape the present moment and create a brighter future. The summer solstice is a great day to honor our past selves, darkness and all, in order to fully appreciate the light gifted by the first day of summer.

I always gauge myself, where ever I am in life, to the light, which is why I ended my article by stating "whether you are on the dark side of the light or the light side" honor this place as a starting point. 

Symbolically, the summer solstice is a pretty spectacular day. I’m hopeful my article will prompt you to take a few moments to ponder and embrace this day in order to brighten your world!


What trench are you braving your way through? Talk to me about it, I think it will help!

Thursday, June 18, 2015

Doodling habit, continued...

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I love to doodle so when I took my Expressive Art Classes last year and stumbled on this validating research stating that doodling is actually a positive activity to have in our lives it gifted me joy. If you are a businessperson, like me, think about attending a meeting where the presenter actually passes out his or her written material before the meeting starts and then encourages the attendees to doodle their way through the material while being present. I know, for sure, I would be much more enticed to stay awake and, according to the research, I would actually retain more of the presented material by doodling.

Anytime I see someone working the margins of his or her paper, it gifts me bliss. I highly encourage doodling and I love to look at the individual’s work of art once the meeting or session is finished. What does it say? Is it modern art, a border, mini-drawings or word art? Does it look balanced or is it lop-sided? Does it feel like it’s floating or is it heavy?

All of these questions really do tie into the emotional expression of the artist, which that is part of any kind of art we create. Creation is a way to process and express.

It is definitely something that I will keep in my life-learning tool bag.


Are you a doodler? Leave me a note or perhaps share some of your doodles wit me.