Friday, February 28, 2014

Tolerating harmful circumstances, continued..

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Click on the below article link to obtain background information to this blog post:

This article was inspired by my life and my marriage that I stayed in far too long. I stayed as long as I did because my mind lived in the future, in a dream that he would change. When I was gambling on this healthier future, I didn’t think about him having to be on board with my plan for this hopeful outcome to manifest. And, of course if he didn’t see a problem with his own behavior, how can he want to change it?

This eye-opening message was concluded in one meeting with a counselor who we visited prior to my filing for a divorce. It was amazing to me how this therapist was able to ask me what the problem was, listen, then turn to my husband and ask him if he saw this to be a problem, my husband responded by saying no and then the therapist turned to me and said, either I learn to deal with the behavior or I make a change because my husband was not going to.

It was straightforward. My dream for a healthy future with my husband was crushed; my rose colored glasses removed that evening. I filed for a divorce shortly after this meeting. I had sacrificed many years of my life and I didn’t want to give anymore unrealistically waiting for change. 

Today, I do not have any regrets about my marriage. I can honestly say I gave it my all. And, choosing to end the pain and hardship was the best option for me; I’m happy with how my life has evolved in the aftermath.

It really does depend on your comfort of life and your vision for the future. What will you put up with and how long will you sacrifice your wellbeing? If you’re unhappy and you can work things out, this is wonderful. But, if this solution isn’t feasible, you deserve better!

What are your thoughts about divorce? Should someone stay in a relationship that isn't healthy?

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