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I have always tried, as a parent, to separate my child from his action when I was disciplining him. I worked hard to keep my logic and to make sure I didn’t get lost in my anger causing me to inappropriately say something I would regret later. It’s the mindset and message that the child isn’t bad but consequently, the decision he or she made is bad.
I believe knowing the difference between shame and guilt and the critical role this plays in parenting can make a significant difference in the health of the child as he or she grows into an adult. Shaming someone is essentially depleting the self-worth of this person. Although this type of behavior is common in our society, it is not a healthy approach.
Have you been shamed into a good person through childhood conditioning? What are your thoughts about this treatment?