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As of late, I’ve been studying influence and things that shape us, in my Lifespan Psychology class. We had to write a paper that discussed what, from our childhood, has shaped us today. Below is an insert from my paper:
“As a young adult, I had to recognize and own my temper in order to manage it and avoid repeating the aggressive nature my father displayed most evenings when he came home drunk. Because my dad picked inappropriate fights with my mom almost daily and she coped with this, subconsciously, I absorbed this type of bullying tactic. Although I never stuck my ex-husband, I was verbally abusive (as was he) and I threw things, like my father did, when we argued. I inadvertently tainted the balance of our partnership in an effort to make sure I was not viewed as submissive. I also, unknowingly, chose an alcoholic partner. I was able to take ownership of my negative behavior, dig into its origin and positively change my negative actions before I had my children. I realized also that I had to stop enabling my husband’s drinking problem and therefore after his refusal of treatment, we divorced.
I was fortunate that my father actually found religion while I was in middle school. He replaced his drinking addiction with God and this, in turn, gifted our family with a healthier environment from that point forward. Although I rebelled with drugs and alcohol during my early adolescent years, I matured quickly and reached for a brighter future.”
I think about the affect of these years and, if I wouldn’t have gotten a handle on my temper or I had got lost and stuck in this “partying” crowd, my world would be dark today. I’m grateful for my path, it has taught (and continues to teach) me critical life lessons. I’m hopeful, by sharing what I learn and my experiences, I can inspire someone else to move through the darkness and to step into the light!