Photo credit, Lisette Omoss
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Dr. Ken Druck continued our interview, “My daughter Jenna was the single-most remarkable person I’ve ever known; she was on a study abroad the world. I received a phone call from India in the middle of the night telling me she and three other young women had died in a bus accident not far from the Taj Mahal. Pictures of their bodies appeared on the front page of India Today.”
Ken’s creation and devotion to the Jenna Druck Center honors Jenna’s life and spirit She is their CAO (Chief Angelic Officer).
Ken shared some thoughts on grief literacy. “Grief is a normal response to loss, our world is turned inside out; everything we thought we signed up for, “Plan A” is in ashes. Our sorrow, anger, confusion and humility are choiceless.
We survive one breath at a time. One day at a time is too much. In survival mode, we need to take care of ourselves as if we’re in the ICU with a huge gaping wound in our emotional heart. Survival is surrounding ourselves with and allowing support. We have to take care of ourselves; we can’t force ourselves to try to be the person we were. Or allow ourselves to become sleep deprived. We have to have a place to process our grief; to ease back to work. And, back to life in a new normal. There are harsh life lessons in grief. One is that life is not fair. Another is that there are no deals. We think life is fair and can feel betrayed or abandoned when bad thing happen. Many of us refine our understanding of God from being the puppeteer who watches over everything and allowed this bad thing to happen, to understanding that God is the force of love and goodness in the world.
Those of us who sit with our hands folded and don’t allow ourselves to vent, scream or release our anger, may have no constructive outlet for grieving. They hold it inside and think they can hide, deny, repress, avoid, out-numb, outrun, out-busy or out-drink their sorrow. We’re challenged to find constructive outlets for all the emotions if grief so we can work through our losses and move forward.”
Ken further discussed the processing of emotions, “We all have an emotional system that allows us to process things of life. This natural system keeps the nutrients and gets rid of the waste. Most people still think that negative emotions like sadness and fear are bad. Feelings are messages from ourselves to ourselves that help guide us to better, more truthful decisions, behavior and understanding. We’re blessed with “angels” whop provide judgment free zones and judgment free friends. They have no interest in fixing us. They just want to support us. The Jenna Druck Center has protocols to support another person in grief.
If you or someone you know is feeling overwhelming sorrow or anger, or stuck in the dark trenches of grief, reach out for support. It’s there! None of us get’s through loss alone, or needs to.”
Click here for Dr. Ken Druck’s website, Facebook page, drkendruck or call the office at (858) 863-7825. Ken does coaching and consulting, locally and remotely by telephone.